


you know i do

by ace



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: F/F, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, apparently this is:, soft gaybies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:53:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25260436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ace/pseuds/ace
Summary: Post-S1 finale. After their mission to enter Adriel’s tomb, something had changed between the two of them. / In which Ava and Beatrice are touch-starved and Beatrice's love language is definitely physical touch.
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 69
Kudos: 702





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm sorry for abandoning this fic. I joined the Future Warrior Nuns Discord server and some fucked up shit happened to me and my friends with numerous people getting banned for calling out the moderator's racism and problematic authoritarian behaviour. This has really spoiled my love for the show and fandom. Take care and be safe if you choose to join that server, especially if you're a person of colour, neurodivergent or trans.

Somehow, they made it out in one piece. The world was still fucked up, but there was nothing to be done right then, except go home, rest, train, strategise and live to fight another day. 

Dr. Salvius had provided them with a private plane to return home, after Mary had called to update them that the five of them were still alive and they would very much appreciate help getting them out of there.

At ARQ-Tech headquarters, Ava was sad to hear about Michael, Dr. Salvius' son. She looked down to the ground and not soon after, felt a hand on her shoulder. Somehow, Ava could already tell whose hand it was. The weight, size and pressure of it was familiar. She let her lips turn up and shot a quick, grateful smile to Beatrice, who had noticed the subtle changes in her body language, as usual. When their eyes connected, Beatrice squeezed her shoulder, and Ava felt the familiarity they shared tether her back to the present.

Michael, in many ways, reminded her of Diego. When things settled down slightly, she would go and visit him, and maybe show off some of her newfound superpowers. She hadn't trained this hard for nothing. It would be nice to be able to flex in front of someone who wasn't a highly trained killer who wasn’t easily impressed.

Michael also reminded Ava of herself. She knew what it was like to be imprisoned, dependent on others and isolated her whole life. She hoped for his and so many others' sake that Heaven was real.

As they left ARQ-Tech, she resolved not to give up. Sure, the road ahead looked tricky, and would require tremendous work on all their parts, but she could take it on, and best of all, she now had a family to do it with. 

/

They were back at the Order of the Cruciform Sword. Mother Superion had come straight back from Vatican City and was back to overseeing training as usual. Father Vincent, of course, no longer resided in his post, and the Church were still sorting out his replacement. The rejects were gone, and Ava enjoyed being somewhere familiar. The place itself wasn't quite home yet, but as she and the others approached the gate as a group, she thought that maybe home wasn't a place but a feeling, and one she felt when with her friends. She looked to her right, feeling more than seeing Beatrice’s presence beside her, especially as their arms would brush every so often as they walked. Ahead of them was Shotgun Mary, Camila and Lilith. They were Ava’s team. She was one of them. Affection swelled in her chest and she felt incredibly lucky. 

As she was unpacking in the room that used to be Sister Shannon's, not that there was much to unpack, she noticed it still bore marks evidencing the fight that occurred there. Suddenly, the memories washed over her viscerally. She recalled the panic and adrenaline of seeing Beatrice about to get hurt, as if in slow motion, followed by feeling a huge rush of energy channel through her and out of her, before the feeling of sudden weightlessness. She had gotten shot, but couldn't feel the pain. All she felt was the relief of success. Beatrice was safe, and fussing over her with Camila, and she was fine. The Halo was recharging and would heal her. She was just glad Beatrice hadn't been hurt. She had saved Ava, after all. It wouldn't be right not to return the favour. So, she had smiled up at Beatrice, who was hovering over her, concerned and attentive, and for all intents and purposes, may as well have had a halo over her head, for how angelic she looked…

There was a knock at her door. Ava turned her head to see Camila in the doorway. 

“Supper’s ready,” Camila said, smiling at her.

“Thanks, Camila.”

“No problem, Sister.”

Ava put the clothing down and made her way to the dining hall. There, her eyes found Beatrice first, sitting at her regular spot. Lilith was by her side, and Shotgun Mary next to her. Ava smiled seeing them and did a little wave when Beatrice happened to glance up, perhaps sensing Ava’s presence. Seeing the usually blank, unreadable expression on Beatrice’s face change to one of happiness never failed to make Ava feel good. She remembered her first dining hall experience, how people had moved to the opposite side of the room when she came to sit with them, but Beatrice stayed and continued eating her meal as normal. She was the first person Ava had met who hadn’t been actively hostile towards her. Sure, Beatrice has proceeded to call her selfish, but then, that was fair at the time.

Ava was glad she had shot her shot and slid up next to Beatrice to start a conversation. Being in an orphanage most of her life had made her realise life was too short to not go after things she wanted. Social rejection couldn’t be worse than being looked after by Sister Frances for over a decade.

This time, she would like to believe Beatrice knew her better now, that Ava cared for something bigger than herself. A huge part of that personal growth had been thanks to Shotgun Mary, the adventure they went on and the faith in Mary demonstrated when she let Ava leave, trusting that Ava would join the OCS when she was ready, on her own terms, to accept her destiny. It made all the difference, not having it forced on her when she fresh out of an institution and thrust into a hostile social environment with impossibly high expectations she had no way of believing she could ever meet.

Visiting that village with Mary, Ava saw firsthand the good she could do with her powers, and how much meaningful change she could bring into the world. Plus, as the OCS became less actively hostile and more welcoming, she found herself making friends. She found Bea, got to know Mary, Camila, Lilith, and hell, even broke ground with Mother Superion, of all people. Her conversation with Lilith had been a turning point, absolving guilt from both sides. “You’re one of us,” Lilith had told her. “Can you forgive me?”

“I just did,” Ava said. Lilith had sacrificed everything, her life, to save Ava, someone who Lilith had felt had stolen her birthright. When it came down to it, Lilith wouldn’t hesitate to save her Sisters or someone in need. If that didn’t show what kind of character she was, Ava didn’t know what did. 

Anyway, who knew coming back from Hell would make someone a nicer person? “Go to Hell,” was perhaps an apt recommendation to assholes, after all.

Ava gathered her food, piling her plate up with food. Years in the orphanage being assisted with eating bland porridge had made her appreciate the finer things in life, like flavour, or variety. She turned to the tables and saw Beatrice had scooted further down the bench, making a space next to her for Ava to sit. Ava smiled to herself, happy at the change of events, and took the spot. 

After their mission to enter Adriel’s tomb, something had changed between the two of them. Maybe it was the fact that Beatrice had kept her word and indeed stayed with her every step of the way. Whenever Ava needed help, Beatrice was there, with a hand to help her up, with encouraging words and strong arms to support Ava’s weight. Beatrice was petite, but damn it if her arms didn’t feel like steel.

Beatrice had asked Ava multiple times to trust her and their family. She told Ava that they would never leave her, that they would never abandon her to be alone again, no matter what.

“Do you mean it?” Ava had asked, her voice shaking. She needed the reassurance, because the words were too good to be true and she wouldn’t be able to handle the disappointment. She was already scared, weighted down by the mass of the wall pressing down all around her.

“You know I do,” Beatrice had said with utmost certainty, the confidence in her voice making Ava brave enough to take the leap of faith. It wasn’t just a leap of faith in her abilities, but in her friends. Ava made it through the wall, and almost cried when Beatrice, true to her word, was there for her on the other side, ready to catch her. Instead, Ava grinned, her relief and emotions palpable, and held onto Beatrice for dear life, burying her chin in the crook of Beatrice’s neck.

“You made it!” Beatrice said. Her hands were on her face, a familiar comforting touch, and her face was close, impossibly close. Ava saw Beatrice’s eyes search her own, and then drop down to her lips. Now that was thought.

“Only thanks to you,” Ava said truthfully, while Beatrice was still stroking her face, as if making sure she was still there, and showing Ava how proud she was of her. She saw Beatrice get visibly emotional at the response, and was glad Beatrice knew how much Ava appreciated her.

“I’ll be at your side every step of the way,” Beatrice had promised, and proceeded to keep that promise. 

That was why Ava listened when Beatrice told her to, “Trust your team,” when she tried to be as badass as Mary and help. She listened, and didn’t waste her Halo energy, even when Beatrice was fighting off three Reject Sisters at once, pinned to the ground with a blade centimetres from her face, and Ava wanted nothing more than to help her, because she couldn’t stand it if Beatrice got hurt while she was right there, superpowers or not.

That was why Ava responded, “I do,” when Beatrice asked if Ava could trust her. It wasn’t a question. Beatrice had been there, as she’d promised.

Beatrice had been there the whole time, a calm, steady presence, always knowing what to do and say, always wanting to help and attending to Ava’s emotional needs. She hadn’t felt this supported in her life, much less by Sister Frances in the orphanage.

Ava cared about what Beatrice thought of her, because she didn’t want Beatrice to stop liking her and leave her like others have. She wanted Beatrice’s continued presence in her life, as well as their other friends. She wanted to be there for Beatrice as much as Beatrice has been there for her, and for her to have as much faith in Ava as Ava had for Beatrice.

That’s why she couldn’t stop herself asking Beatrice why she had brought extra explosives. The thought of Beatrice having a contingency plan wasn’t an insult to Ava’s abilities, but instead showed that there was still a weakness in the mutual trust Ava was trying to build with Beatrice.

Now, Ava was sitting next to Beatrice in the dining hall. There was extra space on the bench, but their thighs were still pressed against each other. Ava didn’t know if Beatrice even noticed it, but Ava definitely did. After spending years unable to feel 95% of her body, every touch and sensation was still brand new for her. If that wasn’t a good enough excuse to be touch-starved, then there wasn’t one.

Camila joined them soon enough, sliding in next to Ava. She said nothing, but she took in the proximity between Ava and Beatrice, and smiled as she brought her cup of water to her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies if this 1st chapter feels incomplete. I wanted to post what I have so far so I can get some feedback and use it to keep me going. :) I have several ideas of scenes I want to write. 👀👀👀


	2. Chapter 2

Beatrice hadn’t said the word out loud in years, and saying it in German, “ _Lesbisch_ ,” had been the closest she’d gotten since she was thirteen and reading it out loud from the Internet screen for the first time.

“ _Lesbisch_ ,” Ava had repeated, clearly finding what the word sounded like funny. Beatrice, at that moment, couldn’t see the humour in it. Instead, her heart was pounding in her chest, blood thrumming in her ears even as she continued reading the story.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ava had asked, tone getting quiet as she watched tears start to roll down Beatrice’s face. Ava was taking it seriously, eyebrows creased in concern, leaning forward as if she wanted to return the favour of Beatrice hugging a sobbing Ava after being verbally abused by Mother Superion.

Beatrice was still in her head, thoughts and memories swirling of her past of shame and self-hatred over loving the wrong gender. She had snapped at Ava then, and felt bad about it when she saw the wounded expression on Ava’s face. It wasn’t her fault.

“It was everyone but you,” she had told Ava, and it was true. Ava had nothing to do with her years of repression. In fact, Ava had been a breath of fresh air, strolling in and befriending Beatrice straight out the gate. Ava’s excitement at everything and the way she freely expressed her emotions, especially with her eyes and smile, made Beatrice feel more comfortable being visibly less impassive around her. Ava’s vulnerability seemed to encourage Beatrice to show her own, which was a strange way for Beatrice towards a newcomer. It had taken years of training side by side with Shotgun Mary and Lilith for her to feel comfortable regarding them as family, with Camila being a more recent but still vital addition to her inner circle. Certainly, they were a better family than her actual family had ever been.

Beatrice was so used to being highly regarded and looked upon by authority figures and all her fellow Sister warriors, that she was rarely able to let her impassive, thoughtful facade down. It was her job to have it all together, to lead her Sisters in missions and stay calm and collected. Not doing so could lead to certain death, and Beatrice cared about everyone too much to let anything happen under her watch.

The more she shared her story with Ava, and the more she saw Ava’s compassionate expression never fade or waver, the more she felt she could share. Eventually, she felt lighter and a feeling of catharsis wash over her. Beatrice certainly hadn’t woken up that day planning to ever talk about this with anyone, but here they were, and Ava was still looking at her like Beatrice was important to her, and like she wanted to go back in time and make everyone who had ever made Beatrice feel less than valued pay.

Beatrice took in a shaky breath, and then wiped the remainder of her tears from her face. That was enough sharing of trauma for right now. It was Ava’s turn.

/

They had been back at the OCS for a few days now. They had started to formulate a plan to take down Adriel, and they were all feeling more recovered after the fight of their lives that had occurred in Vatican City. Mary, especially, had sustained the most wounds and fought the most fearlessly amongst them, with Lilith and Camila a close second, and Beatrice made sure to check on Mary more often than she usually did, along with her usual rounds to all her friends. Mary was the strongest person she knew, that was for sure, and for that reason Beatrice wanted to make sure Mary wasn’t overexerting herself and actually allowing herself to recover.

Beatrice was about to knock on the door to Mary’s room when it swung open. It was midday. Mary stood there, dressed to go out. She wore a leather jacket over a faded flannel, two shotguns holstered as usual and had her motorcycle helmet in hand. She stopped as she noticed Beatrice standing there. “What’s up?”

Beatrice lowered her arm and took a step back so they could both stand in the corridor. Mary shut and locked the door behind her.

“How are you doing?” Beatrice asked, glancing over Mary’s body for any sign she was still hurting.

“Good. You?” Mary replied.

“Will you be okay on the motorcycle?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Beatrice smiled, expecting the deflection. “You fought hard for us.”

“Yeah, well,” Mary said, and even though her face was impassive, Beatrice knew her well enough to see the anger and sadness in her eyes, “That motherfucker killed Shannon. I wasn’t going to let him hurt anyone else I love.”

Beatrice’s eyes dropped to the ground at the reminder. Shannon’s death was still raw for all of them, and even more fresh after finding out about Father Vincent’s ultimate betrayal.

“I should’ve suspected something. I worked under him the most.”

“Nah,” Mary said. “It’s not your fault he was an evil bastard. None of us suspected a thing.”

“I’m here if you ever want to talk about Shannon, or Father Vincent... I think it would help me too.”

“I know,” Mary said, softness entering her tone then. They had all been close, even though Mary and Shannon’s bond was stronger than the rest; and they had all been brutally betrayed by Father Vincent, if he could even be called a Father anymore. “Thanks, Bea.”

Beatrice nodded. “Do you have enough pain medication?” Mary scoffed in reply and Beatrice knew not to push it. “Well, go easy. You’re still healing and you don’t want to make the injuries worse. We need you, Mary, even if you don’t need us.”

“Noted, and take care of yourself too. We need you too, Bea.” Mary looked at her for a few moments, her face turning thoughtful. “Are you going to see Ava after this?”

“What do you mean?” Beatrice tried not to visibly react.

“Continue training, and all?” There was a gleam to Mary’s eyes.

“Oh.” Beatrice nodded. “Yes, she needs more training if we’re to defeat Adriel and his demons.”

“You work well together,” Mary commented. She had seen the way Ava constantly checks with Beatrice, and relies on Beatrice for feedback. Ava certainly hadn’t cared what Mary thought of her, if their adventure was anything to go by. “She looks up to you.”

“She can do it. She just needs a little encouragement, to believe in herself.”

“And you’re good at that.”

Beatrice smiled. “Have a safe trip, Mary. In this life or the next.”

“In this life,” Mary said, and left it at that.

/

“So do all nuns know how to use explosives, or is that just you?” Ava said as she dodged a blow from Beatrice. “Also, don’t think I didn’t notice.”

“Notice what?” Beatrice said, after landing a hit that caused Ava to land on her back. “This is why you pay attention,” Beatrice said, smugly, as she stood looking down at Ava. They were both sweating, and Beatrice had opted for a sleeveless version of her training outfit. Ava couldn’t keep her eyes off her.

Ava sat up, winded, leaning on her elbows and she looked up at Beatrice. She grinned, ignoring her well-deserved scolding. “You swore.”

Beatrice frowned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Ava said. “I may have been out of it, but I still heard you.”

“Shall we continue?” Beatrice said, offering a hand to help Ava up.

“Don’t try to change the subject. I heard you say it, when you saw Adriel. _The F word_ ,” Ava said conspiratorially, as if by whispering, God wouldn’t hear it.

Beatrice kept an impassive expression. “In regards to your question, no. Not all nuns know how to do it.”

Ava let it slide, for now. “So, it was an OCS elective, or something?”

“Something like that,” Beatrice said. “Recovering holy relics sometimes involves blowing up a few rocks. They asked if I could learn for missions.”

“So you’re the sect’s demolition expert?” Ava said, jokingly, and then her expression turned serious. “That’s hot.”

Beatrice blushed, and hoped physical exertion disguised the flush in her cheeks. “Let’s go again,” she said, and this time Ava took her hand.

Ava was embarrassingly flattering sometimes, and Beatrice could never tell how much of it Ava meant. Either way, she didn’t want to get her hopes up. It’s been a long time since she’s been able to act on her feelings, and Beatrice could not see anyway she and Ava could ever be anything more and still maintain a professional working relationship. The two of them worked well together, as Mary had said. Beatrice didn’t want to do anything to jeopardise that, even if Ava had been so accepting of her coming out.

Ava said she trusted Beatrice, and that meant the world to her. Ava didn’t have many reasons to trust anyone in this world, if her upbringing was anything to go by. Beatrice knew what Ava’s trust meant, and did her best to keep her word and be there for Ava. Beatrice had found family in the OCS and she wanted the same for Ava while she was here. Deep down, Beatrice hoped that would be a long time.

If keeping Ava’s trust and faith in her meant suppressing her feelings, as she had done for most of her life, then that was what she would do. She would devote herself to Ava, as a friend, because Beatrice may be skilled at many things, but feeling worthy was never one of them.


	3. Chapter 3

Ava was grateful that she had divine healing powers, considering how she was getting her ass kicked by Beatrice and the other Sisters on a daily basis. Apparently she needed to work on her combat skills, in case her Halo is ever depleted again and she didn’t have Shotgun Mary, Ninja Warrior Beatrice, Trigger Happy Camila or Possibly Demonic Lilith busting in to save her with a well-aimed bullet, throwing star, crossbow bolt or well, whatever Lilith used to take people out.

“You can’t always rely on your powers, Ava,” Beatrice had told her. They were out in the courtyard and the sun was shining above them. Ava had been listening, she really had, but Beatrice was wearing that sleeveless top again, and Ava cursed the summer heat for making it so Beatrice was wearing less clothing all of a sudden. Surely, this shouldn’t be allowed? They were in a place of worship. How was Ava supposed to keep her thoughts clean if Beatrice could go around looking like that, with those eyes and that smile that Ava increasingly got to see more and more of with each passing day?

“Yep, yep, you’re right,” Ava agreed, brushing the dirt off her body as she got up from the ground for the twentieth time that hour. “I’m ready.”

“You’re doing well.” Beatrice had a proud smile on her face that reminded Ava of why she tolerated getting her ass kicked constantly. It hadn’t been nearly this fun or rewarding when Lilith and Mother Superion had kicked her ass that first day. First of all, Beatrice wasn’t actively out to get her. Secondly, she was a damn good teacher, patient, kind, encouraging and knew her stuff. Ava understood why all the other Sisters looked up to, trusted and respected her, and felt very fortunate that somehow, Beatrice had been tasked to train Ava.

Ava wondered who made that decision, and wanted to thank them personally.

They went again, and again, until both Ava and Beatrice were panting heavily. Ava was sure it had been almost two hours now, and yet neither of them looked like they wanted to stop. Ava cherished this one on one time with Beatrice, who was usually busy doing anything she could get her hands on. Once, Ava had seen her in the library disassembling and reassembling a rifle, while surrounded by what looked like very old books, no doubt in various languages Ava would have no hope of even identifying. Or Beatrice was in the armoury or infirmary, doing an inventory stock of their weapons and supplies.

More often than others, Beatrice was spending time coaching her Sisters, walking around training sessions and assisting Mother Superion in instructing the others, demonstrating proper techniques and helping correct people’s form. Ava saw the relieved smiles on the Sisters’ faces when they noticed it was Beatrice helping them, as she was definitely the kinder alternative to Mother Superion. Ava admired her quiet, understated, but powerful leadership abilities. Where one could get by as a hammer, Beatrice was a scalpel. She got along with those she led, was the first one to step into a dangerous situation while sending others to safety and never treated anyone like they were lesser. That was why the Sisters trusted her and listened to her without hesitation, because they knew Beatrice had their best interests and safety in mind, and was willing to make personal sacrifices for the mission while not endangering others.

It was reckless. It was selfless. Ava remembered Beatrice holding Lilith back with a hand on her chest, telling Ava to go so she could complete the mission.

“I will _not_ let her kill you,” Ava asserted, angered by the thought of Beatrice believing she would just abandon her to be potentially hurt by Lilith. Ava didn’t only care about herself anymore. Beatrice had just said they were friends, and friends didn’t leave each other behind.

Suddenly, Ava couldn’t move her body.

Beatrice had her in a headlock, and instead of reacting, Ava just froze.

Noticing the sudden tension, Beatrice let go immediately. Ava couldn’t breathe. She felt lightheaded, and fell to her knees on the ground.

“Ava?” Beatrice was down by her side in an instant. “Ava, I’m here. I’m sorry. You’re okay.”

Ava leaned heavily against Beatrice, unable to keep herself upright. She felt Beatrice’s arm wrap around her back, pulling her close to her chest. Her head was resting on Beatrice’s shoulder. She couldn’t respond for a minute, and listened to Beatrice’s heartbeat until hers gradually slowed to match it. She vaguely registered Beatrice saying soothing things in her ear, and stroking her hair with her other hand. Ava concentrated on the sensation until she was back in the moment. Beatrice was kneeling on the ground with Ava practically curled up in her lap.

“I’m here,” Beatrice was saying. “You’re okay. You can move.”

Ava tried it out, exploring the sensation in her limbs from her toes upwards. She stayed still, breathing in Beatrice’s scent. It was sweat, and was that lavender? Whatever it was, it was calming. She burrowed her face further into Beatrice’s chest and didn’t want to come out. She was vaguely embarrassed. They had been here before, but this was new. There wasn’t as much tactile touching involved last time, before or after. Ava’s skin heated up with warmth as she became aware of all the places they were touching.

“I’m sorry,” Ava eventually murmured into Beatrice’s skin. Her voice came out muffled.

Beatrice’s voice was soft. She didn’t understand. “Pardon?”

“I didn’t mean to freak out on you… or use you as a pillow.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Ava looked up and met Beatrice’s eyes, searching them for any indication that was true. Beatrice met her gaze steadily, reassuringly. Her voice had been gentle, lacking the hard edge it had when she was trying to make a point.

“Thank you for letting me be there for you,” Beatrice said.

“Thank you for being there for me,” Ava said back.

They smiled at each other, and that was when Beatrice seemed to notice how close their faces were. Once again, Ava noticed Beatrice’s eyes drop down to her lips, and then look away guiltily.

Ava made to climb out of Beatrice’s embrace and stand up. She hadn’t meant to make Beatrice uncomfortable. Just because she was queer, didn’t mean she liked Ava. No, Beatrice was like this with everyone. Ava had seen it. Beatrice showed her affection physically, and it was just in her nature to be kind and patient and understanding with everyone. That didn’t make Ava special.

Beatrice stood up too, awkwardly following and straightening herself up. She adjusted the front of her clothes and cleared her throat.

“Will you be okay to go back to your room?” she said, and then seemed to regret asking the question.

“Yeah,” Ava said. She had lived there long enough, but she didn’t want to make Beatrice more embarrassed. “I’ll see you at supper?”

“Yes.” Beatrice nodded.

Ava smiled at her, wanting to ease the tension. “Thanks for sparring with me, Bea. I really appreciate it. I know I’m not exactly a… natural at all this.” She waved around, gesturing at the other warriors training, sparring and handling weapons with well-practised ease and confidence.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Ava. You’re making remarkable progress,” Beatrice said seriously, and it sounded like she meant it. “The rest of us here have dedicated our whole lives to this. You only joined us recently, and besides,” she said, pausing as if second guessing what she was about to say, but continuing anyway, “I’m having fun.”

“Yeah?” Ava grinned. “You’re not getting tired of kicking my ass all the time?”

“You’re not the worst opponent I’ve ever had,” Beatrice admitted. “For example, I once had to take down an eighty year old woman. Don’t ask,” she said quickly, predicting Ava would want to know.

She was right. Ava slowly shut her mouth. “Oh, low blow.” She clutched her chest dramatically at Beatrice’s implication. “And I definitely do want to hear that story.”

“Ask Lilith. It was her fault.”

“Oh, now I definitely have to know.”

They started walking back to their quarters together. Ava smiled to herself, grateful they were so easily able to fall in step together again, and slide back into easy conversation again. She looked down at their hands swinging back and forth, and the urge to catch Beatrice’s in her own suddenly overcame her. It wouldn’t be far to reach. For some reason, the two of them were always gravitating towards each other, and touch came easily for them. Ava wondered what that meant.

Remembering Beatrice’s reaction to their previous closeness, Ava only just about managed to stop herself from holding Beatrice's hand. She wasn’t good at this whole dating thing. The only other experience she’s had was with JC, and look what happened with him. She was unable to open up, and he had enough and left.

But this wasn’t like what she had with JC. For one, she liked Beatrice a whole lot more than she ever liked JC. Sure, the physical attraction was similar. Both JC and Beatrice were gorgeous. Ava had been quadriplegic, not visually impaired. She had realised she was attracted to multiple genders long before she had been murdered and brought back to life by the forcible insertion of a divine object in her back.

Beatrice was different. Beatrice was her friend, her family, her home. Ava couldn’t mess this up. What if Beatrice decided she had enough of Ava and decided to leave her too? Trusting Beatrice with her life was one thing, but trusting her with her heart? That was something totally new.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly shorter chapter (relative to the other short chapters), but a Big one! (The chapters are as long as my attention span lol.)
> 
> Thank you so much for the comments! I haven't replied because I was busy writing the next scenes but I'm reading and treasuring them all. <3 You keep me going!

It was supposed to be a simple mission. Beatrice, Camila, Lilith and Ava had been sent to break into the personal home of a wealthy collector of artefacts to retrieve a book that contained vital knowledge to defeat Adriel. There weren’t meant to be wraith demons.

Apparently this collector had been in cahoots with Father Vincent and they knew they were coming. They had planted bad sources of information to lead the Halo Bearer to the home, in another attempt to steal the Halo.

They barely managed to get out alive. It was only Shotgun Mary arriving on her motorcycle that saved them. She had been on her own separate mission that led her to the same place, just in time to help turn the tides as the four of them were on the brink of being overwhelmed.

As Lilith drove the van to the nearest hospital, Ava held Beatrice’s hand as she lay bleeding in the back of the van. She was pale, sweating and barely conscious. Ava couldn’t think. She couldn’t do anything. Beatrice was bleeding out and Ava hadn’t been there to stop it.

Of course, Beatrice had decided to jump in the way of a bullet meant for Camila. Ava hadn’t been in the room when it happened, fighting off a swarm of wraith demons after her Halo while Beatrice, Camila and Lilith took care of the demon-possessed security guards in the rest of the house.

Ava knew she would’ve done the same. Any of them would’ve done the same, to save any of them. But damn it, this wasn’t how Ava pictured them holding hands for the first time. Ideally, Beatrice would be fully conscious for it, and not losing blood while it happened. Ideally, Ava would’ve used her Halo powers to save Camila and Beatrice and make sure no one got hurt in the first place. What was the point of having superpowers if she couldn’t even save her friends?

Camila was holding Beatrice’s other hand, while Mary applied pressure on Beatrice’s stomach, where she had taken the bullet. They had done everything they could for Beatrice with the medical supplies they had in the van, but there was only so much they could do without operating. To no surprise, military first aid was also in the OCS curriculum.

 _Fuck_. Ava had never taken high school biology, or taken high school anything really, but she knew the stomach housed vital organs. Why couldn’t it be the leg, arm, or something less important to vital functioning? Furthermore, why couldn’t her superpowers extend to healing other people? Talk about selfishness.

As if sensing Ava’s panic, Beatrice’s eyes fluttered open. They had been shut, with Beatrice trying to focus on breathing and not the pain. She didn’t want her friends to see the pain she was in. That wouldn’t help the situation at all.

“Ava,” Beatrice said, squeezing Ava’s hand in her own. She still looked calm, even though her face was pale and breathing shallow. She maintained eye contact until she got a smile from Ava in response, before shifting her gaze to acknowledge Camila and Mary. “Thanks for getting me out of there. And thanks for joining us,” she said, directing the last part to Mary, who chuckled.

“My invitation got lost in the mail.” She smiled at Beatrice with unwavering confidence. “You got this, Beatrice. We need you, remember? We’re nearly at the hospital.”

“I remember,” Beatrice said. “I’ll be fine. I’m talking, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, maybe you should stop,” Ava said, before realising how rude that sounded. “I mean, save your energy and everything.”

Thankfully, Camila started talking then, looking like she was on the verge of tears and saving Ava from her word blunder. “Thank you for saving me, Bea! I’m so sorry for letting my guard down. I should’ve seen it coming, and been vigilant, like you taught me.”

“You did well,” Beatrice said. “You did everything perfectly.”

“I did?”

“Yes.”

Mary chipped in. “I saw you single handedly clear out the rest of the room once Bea went down. You did good, Sister.”

Camila nodded, taking the words in and becoming visibly less upset.

Beatrice looked at Ava again. She squeezed her hand. It was weaker than before. Being conscious was sapping her energy. “Can you stay with me?”

Ava squeezed back. She hadn’t realised, but she was rubbing what she hoped were soothing circles on Beatrice’s hand with her thumb. She responded earnestly, “I will. Of course I will. God, I just wish I could help you more. I wish I could take this bloody Halo out of my back and give it to you so it can heal you.”

Beatrice shook her head. “You’d be dead.”

“And you’re _dying_.”

“I trust you,” Beatrice said to her, as if that explained anything. Taking a shallow breath, she looked at all of them. “In this life, or the next.”

Ava tried not to look panicked when Beatrice said that. “In this life, Bea. In _this_ life.”

Beatrice smiled, and then her hand went slack.

/

There was pain. All Beatrice felt was pain.

She was floating. No, she was buried underground. No, under the ocean. All she could feel was pain radiating from her abdomen, and sensations all around her. Pressure points, noises, lights and a whole lot of darkness.

She’s been exhausted before, but not like this. Not like her body was on the edge of collapse, using every last energy source to keep her alive.

She briefly thought of her parents in England, and how she hadn’t spoken to them in almost six months (not that they had ever made any effort to contact her either).

She thought of her Sisters, of Camila, who she saw taking her place one day; of Lilith who she’s trained beside since she was a child; and of not-quite-a-nun Mary, who was essential at keeping the family together and making things happen.

Then she saw Ava.

Ava with her Halo, not in her back where it actually was, but over her head. Beatrice was familiar with this vision. She’d had this dream more than once, and had woken up from it every time staring at the ceiling, praying for her feelings to fade.

This time though, the vision didn’t fade. A blinding light took over her consciousness. Every cell in her body was revived with new power, drawing from this light. It was like she had been birthed anew.

She looked up, expecting to see the ceiling of her room staring back at her.

It was Ava. The light was emanating from her Halo, before emitting one final burst as its power was depleted.

“Ava,” Beatrice said, right before Ava collapsed in her arms.


	5. Chapter 5

Ava woke in a bed. Her head was pounding and she was afraid to open her eyes. Was she back in the orphanage? Had everything been a dream: getting murdered, brought back to life, granted superpowers and gaining friends and family? It certainly sounded like the plot of a comic book-inspired television series.

The last thing she remembered was Beatrice’s hand going slack in hers. She had been bleeding out and dying in front of them, while still putting on a brave face for them.

Ava tried to sit up. Where was Beatrice now? Why was Ava in bed? Why wasn’t she sitting next to Beatrice recovering from surgery in the hospital?

She was stopped by a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“You’re okay,” a soft voice said. “You should rest.”

Ava blinked and turned her head to the source. It was Beatrice, of course. Ava had spent a lot of time listening to every cadence of her voice, and would recognise it anywhere.

“Beatrice,” Ava breathed out. “You’re alive.”

“I should be saying the same thing about you.”

“What happened? Why am I in bed? Why does everything hurt? My last memory was you-- you were leaving me, and I couldn’t let that happen--”

Beatrice smiled, taking in her questions one at a time. She reached down to take Ava’s hand, intertwining their fingers, The action calmed Ava straight away. She sat and marvelled at the way their hands fit together, knowing Beatrice would give her the answers in time.

“You didn’t let it happen, Ava. I was nearly gone, when your Halo started glowing. You used your powers to save me, but you overexerted yourself, and now you need to rest.”

“I didn’t know I could heal anyone else.”

“Neither did we, but there are stories of other Warrior Nuns with this ability...” Beatrice trailed off, and suddenly looked uncomfortable.

Ava examined her expression, and then squeezed her hand. “Please, I’d like to know.”

Nodding, Beatrice continued. “In these stories, where these powers were activated for the first time, the Warrior Nuns usually detail encounters where loved ones were nearly lost. Parents, children, life partners… People of great significance to the Halo Bearer.”

Ava saw the discomfort for what it was now. Beatrice was blushing, and Ava quickly joined her in embarrassment.

“Ha, yeah…”

They hadn’t talked about this yet, and if Ava had it her way, they probably would have never talked about it.

“Ava--”

“Beatrice--”

They started at the same time, and then stopped.

“You go first,” Ava said quickly, knowing whatever had been about to come out of her mouth would’ve probably ended in disaster.

“I want to thank you. For saving my life. And for being… a great friend.”

 _Friend_. Right.

Ava swallowed.

“No worries,” she said, and her voice had gotten quiet. Her eyes dropped back down to the bed. _No. Bad Ava. Conceal, don’t feel._

“Are you okay?” Beatrice asked, eyes roaming over Ava’s face for any indication of pain. Once again, Beatrice was extremely attentive, and caring, and Ava felt a lump form in her throat.

 _“This is fine,”_ Ava told herself. _“Just friends is good. Can’t ruin this family.”_

“Ava, you were saying?” Beatrice asked, after Ava hadn’t answered still.

“Uh.” Ava retracted her hand, folding in on herself. She turned on her side, away from Beatrice. “I’m tired. I think I’m going to go back to sleep.”

“Oh, okay,” Beatrice said softly, and seemed disappointed. “Would you like me to leave?”

“No--I mean, only if you want to.”

“I see.”

Ava felt Beatrice hovering, unsure of what to do. Throwing out a lifeline, Ava offered, “Or you could read me some of those stories to help me fall asleep?”

It was a poor excuse at best. Beatrice already knew how much Ava fancied her voice and competence at various languages, but for whatever reason, perhaps not being ready to leave Ava’s side yet, Beatrice decided to humour her.

Beatrice reached for the heavy book filled with writing from previous Warrior Nuns, and settled back down in her chair. Opening it to her favourite story, she started to read, and Ava hung onto every word, letting Beatrice’s presence ease the aching feeling in her chest.

/

"How are you?"

Lilith joined Ava outside, leaning against the wall and looking out across the sky. The sun was rising and Ava decided to greet it that morning, inspired by the villagers from her and Mary's adventure.

Ava turned her head to look at her friend. She smiled at the woman who was maybe part Hell demon. They hadn't figured that bit out yet, but it didn't matter, because she was still 100% their Lilith.

"I'm okay. Tired. I don't know how you all do it, the constant training every day. I mean, do you ever get a day off?"

Lilith frowned. "Not really, no. Why? What would we do with it?"

Ava's eyes widened as she took that news in. "Wow, okay." She gestured outside the walls. "You could visit places, go to the beach, watch telenovelas, bake a cake, share that cake with your local Warrior Nun..."

"I can do that anytime I want. You know we're not imprisoned here, right? We've all chosen this life because we believe in the higher purpose."

"Oh, right, just me that didn't get a choice," Ava said bitterly, even though she didn't entirely mean it. In the back of her mind, she knew she had been given the choice by Shotgun Mary when she let Ava leave to live her life. Just as predicted, Ava had willingly chosen to come back and join the OCS when she was ready.

Ava once again felt the weight of the Halo under her shoulders, tying her to this place. It no longer made her as bitter and resentful as it once did, but a part of Ava would always wonder if the Halo would have been better off somewhere else. She had been a nobody from nowhere, missed by no one but Diego, and there would have been hundreds of more worthy Warrior Nuns in her place.

Still though, it gave her a chance at life. Not just being alive, but actually having a life to live; one where she could move and feed herself independently, visit the beach and hold hands with her best friend (even if that was all they would ever be).

If there was a divine power pulling strings up there, then they wouldn't have let Ava become the Halo Bearer if it wasn't meant to be; and regardless of why it happened, it didn't change the fact that it did. Ava deserved the right to a full life like everyone else. Just because she was dead didn't mean her human rights died with it. All that mattered is that she was alive now.

Ava realised too late who her conversation partner was, and why the topic she had brought up maybe wasn't the best idea. Glancing nervously at Lilith, she was surprised to see her look calm still, and almost serene as she watched a bird swoop across the bright blue sky.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Lilith said, once again surprising Ava with how clear headed, rational and kind she sounded. "If it helps, I think you turned out to be a greater Warrior Nun than I could have been. I would have been doing it for the wrong reasons."

Ava looked thoughtful. It was almost like Lilith had read her mind. Her mouth turned up in a smile. "That actually does help. Thank you, Lilith."

Ava thought about Lilith and what it must've been like growing up with such high expectations placed upon her and burdened by centuries of ancestors to live up to. It couldn't have been easy.

"I'm sorry you felt you had no choice to become the Warrior Nun either."

Lilith's eyes widened in surprise, and it occurred to Ava that no one had ever apologised to her about that before. "Thank you for saying that." They looked out at the sky together. "I guess we're almost like two sides of the same coin, you and I."

Ava snorted. "What, because I have an Angel's Halo inside me and you've been to Hell and back?"

Lilith grinned. "Exactly."

/

Beatrice stood in front of the mirror in her room, fresh out the shower and towel parted so she could see her abdomen. Running her fingers over the unscarred flesh, she examined the spot where her bullet wound should have been.

She felt inexplicably warm when she thought about what happened. What did it mean that Ava was able to unlock a whole new superpower in order to save Beatrice? Did it mean anything at all, or was it Ava's natural heroism?

Immediately after Ava had collapsed, exhausted from the massive amount of energy she had just used, Beatrice had taken all her diagnostics to make sure she was okay. When it was determined she just needed to rest for an indeterminate amount of time, Beatrice made sure Ava was comfortable in the van. Her head was cushioned on Beatrice's lap and her body covered with makeshift blankets. Beatrice couldn't help but run her hands through Ava's hair out of worry and concern, and hoping it could soothe her even while unconscious. When they arrived back at the OCS, Mary helped Beatrice carry Ava to her bedroom in a fireman's carry, with one of Ava's arms across their shoulders and her legs supported by the makeshift chair they created with their free hand. Camila walked ahead to open doors for them while Lilith made a start at cleaning up the bloody mess and used medical supplies in the van. Lilith was worried too, but she could tell the others were more distraught and wanted to be with Ava and Beatrice both. It was always harrowing when one of them was injured.

Once in bed, Beatrice removed Ava's outer layers to make her more comfortable. Black leather wouldn't be nice to wake up in, as attractive as it looked on certain people… Beatrice acknowledged to herself how that most definitely included Ava. Still, she tried not to look too much, as Ava wasn't awake to catch her out and tease her about it.

Ava stayed thoroughly passed out the whole time, so Beatrice settled in a chair next to the bed. She made sure to check Ava's pulse regularly and washed her face with a warm damp cloth to get rid of the sweat and blood that had built up from fighting at the ambush.

Beatrice had planned to stay with Ava the whole time, in case she needed anything when she woke up. There were two water bottles on the bedside table, as well as painkillers in case the Halo hadn't recovered enough to heal Ava's aches and pains. Who knew how tired and weak she would be after expending all that energy? ("To save me," Beatrice's heart reminded her.) Plus, Beatrice wanted to be the first person Ava saw when she woke up, so she could thank her for saving her life. Ava would have been worried about her otherwise, that Beatrice didn't make it, and they didn't need a weakened Ava stumbling around looking for her and thinking she had died. Beatrice knew what it was like to lose a friend and wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone.

Brought back to present by a knock at her door, Beatrice quickly wrapped the towel around herself again. "Come in," she said, as she knew no one would be disturbing her unless it was important. And arguably, it was.

Ava was at the door, which she quickly looked like she regretted when she spotted Beatrice standing there in just a towel, hair still wet and falling across her shoulders. Her eyes widened and she appeared to forget what she wanted to say.

"Yes?" Beatrice prompted, lacking any sort of impatience or hard edge. She was happy to see Ava, of course she was. She was always so happy to see Ava, and that was one of the problems.

"Oh, I was just, wondering where--" The words stumbled out and then Ava seemed to reset her brain after closing her eyes tightly and shaking her head. "Sorry, I mean, did you want to have another training session today? I figured we could test out my powers again, see if it's fully recovered yet or if I can activate my ability again."

"Yes, that's a great idea," Beatrice said, smiling softly at Ava. She couldn't look at Ava now without thinking about the implications of her heroism, and the stories they had read. She flushed again, and looked at the ground to hide the hopeful expression on her face.

"Great, well, I'll see you out there." Ava was rocking on her heels and awkwardly gestured in the vague direction of the door while still being unable to stop looking at Beatrice, and the defined lines of her shoulders, and her glowing skin.

"I'll come out shortly."

"Should I just wait outside? Or I mean, no rush." Ava's eyes widened again. "Okay, I'll be in the lab waiting."

"See you there."

And then they stood, with Ava still not moving, and Beatrice not being inclined to move either. They just looked at each other, a million unsaid words being communicated through expressions alone.

Beatrice broke the silence. "I've got to get dressed first." She grinned when she said it, so it didn't feel like she was kicking Ava out.

"Right, yes! Clothes. Good idea."

Ava quickly made for the door then, and Beatrice didn't realise how on edge she had been until the door clicked shut. Keeping her feelings at bay was a lot of hard work. She let out a breath she didn't realise she had been holding.

Alone in her bedroom, Beatrice sat down on the edge of her bed, her mind whirring, calculating all the possibilities. It was always good to have a contingency plan, and maybe five more after that. Loving Ava like she did wasn't something she could just dive right into. There were a lot of risks to be assessed, and Beatrice had no intention of pushing Ava away with her feelings, like she had done with people in the past.

No matter which way Beatrice spun it, she couldn't see a future for herself without Ava in it, and that was the most dangerous thought of them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone say they wanted more Lilith? (Me, it was me.) Lilith is bb.
> 
> Once again, thank you so much for the comments! It makes me happy to know anyone is reading this and I can drag people down in Avatrice and Warrior Nun feels with me! That's literally all I want, people to cry with me about these two and this family of wlw killer nuns and not-quite-a-nun Mary.


	6. Chapter 6

“Do you think we have enough ammunition, or do we need more?” Camila asked and she and Beatrice were stocking up the armoury. Supplies had started to deplete after numerous missions, with each one getting more dangerous than the last.

“What are we short on?” Beatrice asked, looking over from her binder with all the information. Paperwork wasn’t exactly fun, even for her, but it was essential. She did prefer being amidst the action, but she knew how important preparation was to ensure everything ran smoothly. Her Sisters’ lives depended on it.

“Nothing. We’re fully stocked up. I’m just worried…”

At the sound of uncertainty in Camila’s voice, Beatrice left her post and came to stand next to Camila, placing a hand on her upper arm in reassurance.

“We’re more than trained and equipped for this, Camila,” Beatrice said confidently. She had nothing but faith in everyone at the OCS. She had trained and worked next to them countless times, and had seen nothing but the most fierce, efficient, dedicated warriors.

“I know.” Camila smiled up at her, grateful for the words, even as she knew there was no guaranteeing how the ensuing battles would unfold. “But we almost lost you, Bea. You jumped in front of a bullet for me.”

“I’m here now, aren’t I?” Beatrice gestured at herself, standing as strong and tall as ever. “And you would have done the same for me.”

“That’s not the point,” Camila said. “If Ava hadn’t been there to heal you, who would lead us? After Father Vincent, I don’t know who I can trust.”

“You trust in God, as always,” Beatrice said. “You trust in me because I trust in Him, above all. Even if something were to happen to me, you don’t need anyone to lead you, Camila. I’ve watched you over the years and I believe there’s no one more capable of leading the sect than you.”

Camila looked at her, appearing to take her words seriously. Her eyes shone, and Beatrice knew Camila felt safe to let her guard down with her. “Can I hug you?” asked Camila.

“Of course.” Beatrice opened her arms. She enveloped Camila in a hug, where they remained for several moments.

“Thank you, Bea,” Camila said into her chest.

“You don’t have anything to thank me for, but if it helps your guilt, I accept.”

/

Ava was excited. Shotgun Mary had broken down after many repeated attempts to persuade her, and agreed to train Ava in firearms.

“If I’m going to be coming along on missions, wouldn’t you feel better if I was also armed and could help protect the others?”

“You have a point,” Mary reluctantly agreed. She had come back from a recent mission and needed a break, so in lieu of more pressing matters, decided to stick around the compound for a while. Of course, it hadn’t taken long for Ava to start showing up where she was to pester her.

“So why do you want to be like me so bad, huh?” Mary asked after several sessions. She had given Ava the safety tutorials and demonstrations for several kinds of guns, let her practise in the shooting range, and was currently supervising as Ava practised loading and reloading different guns. Mary was sitting back in a chair, boots on the table in front of her as she examined her two favourite shotguns. She couldn’t believe she had let that bastard Vincent use one of them.

“I told you, I want to be as badass as you,” Ava said distractedly, focussing on improving her gun handling efficiency. Mary had been surprised at how seriously she was taking the training. Ava had grown up a lot since breaking free from institutionalisation. Sure, it initially involved being murdered and then revived, both of which were out of her control, but what Ava made of her second chance at life were her own accomplishments to be proud of.

“Any particular reason?” Mary asked. She was still thinking about her shotguns. They had been custom built for her, a gift from Shannon on her birthday that felt like both yesterday and a decade ago. Shannon had commissioned them from a master craftsman on her travels, and gifted them to Mary when she had returned, having rushed the final two days of her journey so she’d be back in time for Mary’s birthday.

Ever since Shannon had passed, Mary had gotten used to the heavy feeling in her chest, and didn’t think it would ever leave, not really. She had leaned into her grief, using it as anger to fuel vengeance. It was only after Vincent’s betrayal and after she had recovered enough to go out on her own, did she allow herself to fully process Shannon’s loss. She visited her mother in prison, taking the long route and doing a lot of thinking on the way. On the way back, she learnt of information that alerted her to the others being in danger, and had rushed to meet them at the ambush just in the knick of time.

“I’m tired of being a burden,” Ava answered after taking time to consider her response. “All my life, I’ve had to rely on people helping me and treating me like I’m deadweight, which I pretty much was. It wasn’t long ago I couldn’t take a shit without someone wiping my ass for me.”

Mary snorted. “I like your sense of humour, Warrior Nun.”

“It helped me survive.” Ava smiled wryly, and then it turned genuine. “Oh, Diego, a little boy I shared my room with--we would play pranks on the nuns all the time.”

“Like what?”

“Classic stuff. Clear tape across the doorway. ‘Kick me,’ signs on their back. Offering them chocolate that wasn’t chocolate, if you know what I mean… Diego took point on that one. It was worth it to see Sister Frances’ face.”

Mary laughed, mildly disgusted, but mostly impressed. “That’s awful and chaotic. I like it.”

Ava looked over at Mary seriously then. “Thank you for agreeing to teach me.”

“You didn’t leave me much choice. You looked like a wounded puppy everytime I said no. I may be a badass but I’m not immune to people asking for help.”

“Wounded puppy?” Ava wanted to deny it, affronted at the threat to her badassery, but shook her head and decided it didn’t matter. “I’m serious though. I hope you understand how helpless I felt watching you all fight in Rome while I had to hide and save my powers. I want to help too. I don’t want to be treated like I’m special just because someone put a Halo in my back.”

One again, Ava recalled the sight of Beatrice on her back, held down by other nuns with a blade at her throat; and then Beatrice getting shot, lying prone in the ground with blood pooling on the ground around her. If Ava had been a better fighter, and gotten rid of the demons quicker, she could’ve been there to help the Sisters fight off their opponents. If Ava had been more competent, Beatrice would have let her join the fight, knowing she could handle herself without using her Halo.

“I get it. I was young when shit went down with my parents too.” Mary exhaled and brought her legs to the ground. Standing up, she holstered her shotguns. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Good work so far. I’ll make sure to tell Beatrice about your progress.” She smirked at the last comment and turned to walk away.

“Thanks,” Ava called to Mary’s retreating back, her response delayed as she tried to puzzle why Mary would say that last thing about Beatrice. Ava wasn’t that obvious about her feelings, was she?

/

“How was your day?” Beatrice asked as Ava slid into her regular seat next to Beatrice in the dining hall, looking over after bringing a spoonful of food in her mouth.

“Good, you?” Ava asked, happy to be around Beatrice again. They had only a brief training session in the morning, part of their regular daily combat practice, but Ava hadn’t seen her all day otherwise.

“It was a rewarding day,” Beatrice said diplomatically, as always.

“Oh?” Ava said, unable to stop herself from bumping Beatrice’s shoulder with her own. “You didn’t miss me too much?”

“I saw you this morning,” Beatrice said, seemingly confused at Ava’s comment.

“ _Yes, I missed you so much, Ava,_ ” said Ava in a poor imitation of Beatrice’s voice that made them both laugh.

“And what about you, did you miss me?” Beatrice said, laughing still and going along with it.

“ _So much,_ ” Ava thought to herself. Upon seeing the expression on Beatrice’s face change from playful to flustered, Ava realised she had said that out loud. _Oh, shit._

“Mary told me how quickly you’re picking up firearms,” Beatrice said, seeing Ava’s own panicked expression and changing the subject. “I’m really proud of you, Ava. And honestly, I’m surprised you got her to train you at all. Mary has so far declined to take part in any teaching of others.”

Ava lit up at Beatrice’s words and made a mental note to thank Mary for keeping her word, teasing or not. “Apparently I look like a wounded puppy when I get rejected? I did have to ask a lot though. Like, a _lot_. I’m surprised she didn’t complain to Mother Superion about me.”

“She’s not wrong,” Beatrice agreed after a thoughtful moment.

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Beatrice quickly defended. “You just have… very expressive eyes, is all.”

“I do?” Ava turned on the bench so she was facing Beatrice, and made sure to hold her gaze. Beatrice slowly lowered her utensils. “Like this?” Ava asked, batting her eyelashes. “What are they saying right now?”

Beatrice searched her eyes, and Ava’s breath caught in her throat. Beatrice’s eyes were always so intense, and Ava felt so seen when Beatrice was looking at her, as if Beatrice could see past all of Ava’s defenses and see who she was trying to be, and not just who she presented as.

“So?” Ava breathed out, after Beatrice failed to say anything. She was pretty sure Beatrice’s eyes had dilated. Once again, it felt like there was a gravitational force pulling them closer together. Ava wanted so badly to close the distance. She was so curious what it would feel like to kiss Beatrice. She’s only ever kissed JC before, and he was all jawline and rough hands. Beatrice was strong, but she also looked softer, and Ava would kill to test that hypothesis. Well, maybe not kill, since Beatrice wouldn’t like that, but… something.

“Ladies,” Lilith said as she joined them at the dining table. “We are in the dining hall right now.”

They both jumped back. Beatrice quickly turned back to her plate, and Ava knew her well enough by now to see past the impassive facade. Beatrice’s cheeks were more red than usual, and her breathing was faster than usual.

Ava cursed under her breath as she turned to look at Lilith. “Thanks for the reminder,” she said, and was proud when it only came out sounding half as grouchy as she actually felt. Lilith met her eyes and smiled both apologetically and knowingly.

“No problem, Warrior Nun.”

Ava felt more assured hearing the title from Lilith. It was a reminder of their past conversation, and how she now knew Lilith meant nothing bad by it anymore.

Sighing, Ava turned back to her own food, and kept glancing over to Beatrice, trying to catch her gaze. But Beatrice was focussed intently on her food, and then staring straight ahead as she chewed.

So it was back to that then.


End file.
